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It’s hard to overstate how much Pete enjoys exercise, too. Approximately a third of his kitchen space is taken up with colossal tubs of intimidating muscle supplements called things like Donkeykick and Thunderpunch. His favourite story is the one where he went to a meeting and his bicep accidentally ripped through his shirt in front of his boss. He’s one of my favourite people in the entire world, but he does have the teensiest air of steroid-inflicted murder-suicide about him.
I stood in for Charlie Brooker’s column this week, so I decided to introduce the world to my terrifying little brother. (From The Guardian)
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To misquote Elton John, our candle had burned out long before literally anyone important in my life gave a billionth of a shit about it.
I bought a fake girlfriend on Facebook. And then cheated on her with another fake girlfriend on Facebook. And then dumped them. A biggish piece I wrote for The Guardian
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People have been asking what Old Man Pancaklentine looks like. I hope this clears things up

People have been asking what Old Man Pancaklentine looks like. I hope this clears things up