See that uncomfortably sexual photo up there? That’s lemon sorbet. I made it. I am the best at making lemon sorbet and then taking pictures of lemon sorbet that look like the front cover of a Mills & Boon book about rich people in billowy blouses who have weird, self-congratulatory sex on horseback all the time. This much is incontestable.
However, it turns out that making lemon sorbet is one of the most exciting things in the entire world. I’m not joking. The process of producing a litre of lemon sorbet is a screaming, white-hot, relentless thrillride that’ll leave you red-faced and breathless with pulsating adrenaline. Without any exaggeration at all, making lemon sorbet is the single most exhilarating thing I have ever done in my entire life.
HOW TO MAKE LEMON SORBET:
STEP ONE - Boil up some sugar and water to make a syrup. HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS! WHAT A RUSH!
STEP TWO - Mix some lemon juice into the syrup and then put it in an ice cream maker for about half an hour. OH BOY! THIS IS EXCITING AND DYNAMIC!
STEP THREE - Eat the lemon sorbet. EXCITING EXCITING EXCITING EXCITING EXCITING EXCITING EXCITING OH GOD EXCITING!!
Now rest. The human body wasn’t designed for stimulation this intense, you know.