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Now for James Arthur; a man who you feel only ever applied for X Factor so that he could complain about how manufactured it all is after he gets eliminated. Arthur, Disciple Of Cardle, he’d be called in olden days.

This week, James Arthur took Nicole Scherzinger to a pub. Because that’s what he does. He goes to the pub. He only uses cutlery that’s been carved from wood. He’s suspicious of computers and electricity. He’s authentic, see?

HEY! I’m liveblogging X Factor again, for The Guardian
Because the song is called I’m Still Standing, and one of the things that sometimes stands is a bowling pin, that’s what all the dancers are dressed as. It’s obvious if you think about it. You have to think about it for a really long time, perhaps several hundred years. But in the end, when you’ve spent so much of your life thinking about ten-pin bowling that your career and relationship and health have all become distant memories, and you’ve turned into the sort of person who lives in a bin and sneaks up on people just to shout “BOWLING PINS! DON’T YOU SEE?” right into their faces, then it’ll probably become quite obvious.
I’m still liveblogging X Factor for The Guardian. Lucky me.